A Few Clean Golf Jokes

Top Ten Things to Say About A 3-Foot Putt...

• I see Clinton has one more intern to entertain.
• You still have to book him, Dano.
• Nice bottle of tequila. Now eat the worm.
• You gonna bury that bone?
• You paid the hooker, now pay the pimp.
• Finish your six-pack, Mr. Daly.
• I can’t hear the fat lady singing.
• Don’t forget to squeeze out the last few drops.
• Still some meat left on that bone.
• Not so fast....you forgot to cuddle.

Scottish Weather

MacDermott and MacDuff having finished a round of golf were sitting in the clubhouse on a raw, blustery day, thawing their beards in front of the fireplace while freezing rain beat against the windows.

The pair were silent for a long time over their whiskeys. 

Finally, MacDermott spoke, "That was quite a round of golf."

"Aye," MacDuff replied. "Same time next Saturday?"

"Aye," said MacDuff, "weather permitting."