Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday, and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad you decided to come to Mass. What made you do it?"
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you, Father. Awhile back I misplaced me hat, and I really, really loved that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine, and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest said, "Well Murphy, I notice that you didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"
Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."
With a tear in his eye, the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', you decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?"
Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I left me hat!"